Back in February, I attended a class that changed my life and sent me on a path, I could not have predicted I would be on. The connections and depth of closeness to the people who attended the 6 day Intensive Training made me feel a love that was foreign to me. I knew, in a deep place in my heart, I needed to be a part of this tribe. The way this group stayed connected was through a “Closed Facebook Group”. If I wanted to be in the “know,” I had to return to Facebook. What??? I left Facebook 3 years ago – SWEARING NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!
When I left FB, my life was a falling to pieces. In hindsight, it was like watching the Titanic sink. I saw too much negative. I saw how it created drama in relationships. As a Therapist, I witnessed first hand numerous marriages torn apart from affairs that started on Facebook. I listened to my clients talk about friendships that ended because of things they had seen on FB. I listened to story after story of conflict, hurt feelings and problems. No thank you. I smiled, waved and wished everyone well and went on my way….
I committed to going “Old School”…. My life was no longer going to be on display. I knew I needed to work on myself and get my life straightened up. I didn’t need the crap of FB in my life. Admittedly, I spent the last couple of years being critical of FB. I’ve encouraged people to get off. I felt that it wasn’t REAL connection and people are craving a sense of genuine connection and closeness. I needed to re-connect with myself privately and get my life in order.
I had to make a decision about whether to return to FB or not. I spent several days thinking about it. I worked at “Getting Clear” as my therapist encourages me to do about when stuff comes up for me. In my heart, I felt a draw to being a part of this community, so I decided to get back on to FB. In order to make peace with myself and integrate the lessons I learned, I committed to follow this Agreement:
“I commit to spread Light, Love, Compassion, Truth, Lessons I have learned, and Positivity. I will really connect with people and bring more heartfelt relationships back into my life. I will spread joy! I will not judge others or myself. My Intention is to make a positive difference in the world and genuinely connect with people.”
When I got back on, immediately, I noticed FB looked different! There were lots of inspirational quotes, beautiful pictures, people sharing special moments of their lives, and people talking about what they are passionate about. I began feeling inspired myself, and wanted to spread the Love and Light that is in my heart. As I did, I started receiving messages from people telling me about their life, and how something I posted helped them or gave them encouragement. I received cards in the mail with notes of how something I shared helped them on their journey. I can’t tell you how surprised I was to receive these, but even more so, how grateful I felt!
When I went to Hawaii to visit my Uncle, it was so life changing that I decided to write about it. I was deeply touched by the loving comments I received. It sparked a lot of thoughtful and encouraging conversations. I began thinking, maybe there’s something more here for me.
I started getting together and spending time with my old friends. It’s different now. Instead of going to bars and getting stupid (which was fun at times); we go for bike rides, drink Kombucha and listen to music. When I was at my girlfriends, we spent time with her daughters (whom I love), watched funny videos on YouTube, ate dinner together as a family, and giggled on her bed. While visiting another girlfriend, we checked out the animals on the farm, looked at the cool projects they were doing on their home and sat and talked for a couple of hours around her kitchen table. It just warmed my heart!
Last week, I received a message from a friend thanking me for what I share and she talked about how following me gives her daily inspiration! Wow! Exactly what I wanted to accomplish! I was really happy to read that. But then came the part that took me back. She said, “Looks like life is going great for you….” I gasped!
So here’s the deal: Life is messy! In fact, most of my time on earth has been a very challenging experience. My life does not look anything like I thought it would at this time. I face many painful moments and experiences and find myself thinking, “How is this my life?” Well, it is. I own it. I am facing it, head on. I am learning so many lessons. And through it all, I am learning to have more compassion, love, appreciation, patience, and understanding. So many of the things I have judged, in some way, I am seeing it show up in my life. I believe these are the lessons I am here to learn. I feel like I am going through the “Dark Knight of the Soul” and in the process growing deeply in my Spiritual Practice. I have also learned you don’t know much about someone’s life based on what they share on Social Media. That just captures a moment in time….. I still keep most of my personal life off of Facebook, as that is what works for me. But for right now, I am really enjoying feeling connected and inspired! Peace and Love to all!